Saturday, February 6, 2010

Intel Announces New Sextium Processor

The new Sextium part is scheduled to debut in Q2 of 2000, with distribution anticipated to commence exactly one year from the April 1st product announcement. The initial clock speed will be only 666MHz (Front Side Bus 133MHz, 5X multiplier), as Intel has reported mysterious problems achieving higher speeds with the new component. Craig Johnson, strategic planner for Intel's 32-bit product, commented on these difficulties as follows: "It's really not a problem. 666 megahertz is a very good speed. Very good indeed. Yes. Good." His eyes then glazed over and he walked slowly away, apparently oblivious to our further questions.

Pricing of the new processor for 1000 unit orders is expected to be an unprecedented $US10,000, although Intel have hinted at an as yet unexplained alternative payment program in which end users are apparently required to sign a special contract, and will receive in return a 666MHz Sextium processor, as well, confusingly, as what is described as "all their worldly desires".

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